From Crush Kerry:
It's often said that "charity begins at home". A review of John Kerry's donations to charity and personal history shows that he takes that saying very literally.
We always knew that liberals like John Kerry treated our taxes as charity to fund their big government programs. We are also well aware of their constant whining about heartless conservatives whose policies break the back of the poor.
In fact, in a January 2004 interview Sen. Kerry lamented the fact that as a nation "we have proven incapable of summoning enough charitable effort...to guarantee that we're doing what we need to do for our children in America"
Thus, we were, to paraphrase a line from Claude Raines in Casablanca, - "shocked, shocked I say" - to learn that when it came to charitable giving, the children of America were let down by - John Kerry and his alligator arms.
In 1991 and 1995 (the year of the OK City Bombing when donations to the Red Cross poured in) Kerry had incomes of $113,857 and 126,179 respectively. In those two years, Kerry donated a whopping total of, drum roll please - $0 total to charity.
No, that's not a misprint - its zip, zero, zilch, nil, nada, no mas, the big donut, the collar (to use a baseball term).
This is especially puzzling given Kerry's website claim trumpeting his "active membership" in the Catholic faith. Funny, last time we were there we seem to recall a collection plate being passed. Apparently at Kerry's church they missed doing that during the 104 Sundays in 1991 and 1995. Either that or Sen. Kerry has terrible aim, as his envelope seemed to have somehow missed going into the plate or basket.
Also, it's not as if his charitable giving record in the interim was all that much to write home about. From 1992-1994 he gave a whopping total of $3,044. Which means that from 1991-1995 John Kerry gave a paltry total of $11.66 per month (or 40 cents a day - the price of a cup of coffee) to charity, for which the "children" of America will be ever grateful. Perhaps Senator Kerry was so busy dating Hollywood Starlets and trying to pay child support that he missed those commercials with Sally Struthers and the guy from Trapper John MD begging us to help starving children.
However in 1996 his fortunes changed. You see that was the year that he himself was a beneficiary of charity - that being his nuptials to the $500 million dollar woman Ter-ez-zaa Heinz. What's more he didn't have to go on "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire" to do it. We don't know how much Mrs. Heinz-Kerry gives to charity because she still refuses to release her tax records. We do know however that the "charitable" foundation she runs funds some rather loony radical left-wing causes.
The happy couple really needs to sit down and decide how to help the children of America. Perhaps they could sell one of their 5 mansions valued at over $20 million, which you can see pictured HERE . Sadly they already missed the chance to pay all 4 years of tuition at Yale or Harvard for about 48 poor children when the villa in Italy, also pictured HERE , was sold for $7.8 million a short time ago to left-wing radical George Clooney.
So what have we learned here today fellow Kerry Crushers? First, that when it comes to charity, John Kerry's wallet is tighter than gnat's a$$, and he probably still has his kindergarten milk money in his pocket. Second, he is a raving hypocrite (but we knew that already didn't we). Finally, that if not for marrying rich women, little kids with empty gruel plates would be coming up to him and asking "Please Senator Kerry, may I have some more?"
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